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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27004096">Free Show</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/dead2theliving/pseuds/dead2theliving'>dead2theliving</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood &amp; Manga</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Drunken Shenanigans, Kind of smut, M/M, Smut, alphonse elric puts up with too much shit, poor al, poor attempt at comedy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 01:06:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,805</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27004096</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/dead2theliving/pseuds/dead2theliving</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He honestly doesn't know how Alphonse hasn't just snapped and killed him yet with all the stupid shit he's done.</p><p>Sure, the whole trying to bring mom back and making him lose his body and live a lonely and miserable life for five years thing was bad, but Ed somehow thinks Al accidentally witnessing his brother about to get railed by his old commanding officer tops all that.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Edward Elric/Roy Mustang</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>120</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Free Show</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It's not like he hadn't been aware Al was there. </p><p>   Okay, so maybe he forgot in the midst of his lust and maybe he didn't notice that Al happened to be right there- or that he wasn't even in the right room. </p><p>   It wasn't his fault. In fact, it was Al's. </p><p>   Al should've said something or jumped up and ran or hell, even tell Winry to somehow get to central in the blink of an eye just so she could throw a wrench at him. </p><p>   But no. That little prick stayed silent for a while. </p><p>   If he would've known, he wouldn't of even started anything. </p><p>   Well- he thinks to himself now, his back slamming hard against the front door of his apartment- he certainly could get used to this. </p><p>   He can't help the content laughter that bubbles up his throat when Roy presses himself firmly against him, lips moving roughly agains this own. His fingers were tangled in Roy's hair, tugging at the base just hard enough to separate their lips before Roy crashed them back together to muffle his moans. </p><p>   Roy's hand was inside his shirt, fingers dancing over his hard muscles and practically tearing the buttons from their seems in a desperate attempt to get it off. </p><p>   They'd just entered the apartment for Christ sake; tumbling through the door in a half intoxicated state of laughter. The second that door shut though, Ed was pressed firmly against it and being deprived of air as if Roy needed his to survive. </p><p>   Roy pulls away from his lips, but quickly places them against his throat, trailing them down until he reaches the base and sucks hard, biting the soft skin harshly. He lets out a throaty moan, panting with his eyes squeezed shut. </p><p>   Ed groans, hands gripping the material of the General's shirt in a desperate attempt to get it off. He succeeds after a moment, though the brief second where the material forces Roy's lips away from his skin seems like a lifetime and he wasted no time in tossing the shirt aimlessly around the room and forcing Roy's mouth back on his. Gripping at his biceps, Ed tries to pull Roy closer and harder against himself, though he knows it's not even technically possible. </p><p>   When Roy's leg brushes against his crotch and he gasps, he feels Roy smirk against his lips. That's the only warning he's given before Roy thrusts his hips forward, pressing his own arousal against Ed's in a desperate and heated attempt at friction. He gasps, but it turns into a moan- muffled by Roy's lips. </p><p>   When Roy pulls his lips away again, this time kissing down Ed's body, stopping to suck harshly on his nipples before continuing downward. Roy stops at the hem of his pants before sticking his tongue out and trailing it up his v-line while his hands fumble to remove his belt. </p><p>   The second it's off, his pants are being yanked down and he hears Roy growl in approval at the way his boxers do nothing to hide his arousal. Roy simply stares at the bulge though, and Ed huffs, growling angrily when he pulls Roy back up, spinning them around so now Roy is against the door. </p><p>   His hands are quick when they remove the General's belt, yanking it through the loops and hearing land with a loud clank somewhere in the living room the same moment he's yanking Roy's pants down. </p><p>   Roy steps out of them and Ed can't even get a good look at Roy's impressive erection before Roy is panting his name. </p><p>   "Ed,". He's breathless and he even gasps when Ed pushes himself against Roy once more. "Bedroom, now". </p><p>   Ed nods, but doesn't move until Roy shoves him backwards, crashing their lips together once more. </p><p>   It's almost impossible to make it down the short hallway when they keep stopping to pin the other against the wall in a desperate attempt for friction. They can't keep their hands to themselves and neither are complaining, though they know both of them would much rather be stripped of their boxers and feeling the satisfaction of Roy absolutely destroying him.</p><p>   Barely even registering the bedroom door, they kick it open and tumble through. Roy pushes Ed backwards and he trips, laughing through a squeal as he lands on his back with Roy on top of him. He groans at the pain, laughing along with Roy, but it doesn't last long before Roy is kissing him again. </p><p>   If you asked him, Ed would swear to truth that he'd never get enough of the feeling of Roy's lips against his own. </p><p>   Roy's hand sneaks- somehow- in between their flushed bodies and grips him through his boxers. Ed makes a strangled moan, tossing his head back from the pleasure of the sudden contact, but winces when his head smacks with the hardwood. Roy's lips move to his throat again, sucking and biting in all the right places that leave Ed a panting, moaning mess. </p><p>   Roy doesn't even hesitate anymore, simply rips- yes, rips- the boxers away and practically melts at the sight of Ed's hard, dripping cock. His hand goes down, grasping it in a firm grip. Ed whimpers when he feels Roy's thumb brush over the slit, smearing the pre-cum around the head and down his length. </p><p>   Ed groans. "Skip it!" He all but shouts, practically sobbing with the need to have Roy inside him. "Please, Roy!"</p><p>   "No patience today, hey FullMetal?" Roy teases. He gets close to Ed's ear, nipping the lobe before letting his warm breath tickle it. "Good thing I'm not a very patient man tonight". </p><p>   Ed practically whimpers in both delight and desperation when Roy pulls away and tugs his boxers down just enough to get his impressive length out. Ed eyes it, panting and squirming in pleasure already simply from looking at it. </p><p>   Roy hesitates. "Do we still have any lube?"</p><p>   Ed almost cries. "In the drawer". </p><p>   Roy scrambles to his feet, but when he raises his head he makes a choking sound and freezes. Ed furrows his brows, confusion dripping from him as he watches the General. </p><p>   Roy, to Ed's surprise, lets out a scream, which makes Ed want to laugh but instead he throws himself forward to tackle Roy to the ground, thinking there's danger. </p><p>   "What the fuck, General?!" Ed shouts, twisting on top of the man to look through the darkness towards where Roy was looking. </p><p>   Ed freezes. </p><p>   The first thing he notices is that there's a silhouette sitting up right on the bed and wide glowing eyes staring back at him in horror. The second thing he realizes is that this isn't his room. </p><p>   It's Al's. </p><p>   Ed screams too, but doesn't freeze. Instead he throws himself for cover while trying to hide his- already faltering- hard on from his brother. </p><p>   "Al what the fuck?!" Ed finds himself screaming. </p><p>   "What do you mean me?!" Al yells back. "You were the ones who came in here!"</p><p>   "Why didn't you say anything!?" Ed yells again, finding a pair of Al's pants and tugging them on- firmly ignoring the fact they're still too long on him. </p><p>   Al flails his arms. "I froze! I didn't know what to do and I panicked!"</p><p>   "Al fuck I'm sorry!" Ed could feel how flushed he was, now from embarrassment rather than pleasure. </p><p>   He was sweating again, but now he felt sticky and uncomfortable as he stares in horror at his little brother, desperately trying to do up the fly to the pants he grabbed. </p><p>   He glances at Roy who, to his credit, finally found some common sense and has tucked himself back into his boxers but was still laying on the ground in a stunned and embarrassed silence. Even in this lighting Ed could see how red the man was. </p><p>   "Brother I know you do this but really? You had to bring him here while I was visiting?" Al sounds mortified but also slightly offended. </p><p>   Ed flounders, stuttering through breathless words. "Al I completely, fuck I just- I'm sorry! I forgot you were staying here- because ya know, sometimes you crash at a hotel but but I-I got this room and I forgot and fuck!"</p><p>   Al scoffs, crossing his arms. "Oh good to know I'm so easily forgotten, Brother". </p><p>   "Can you just-!" Ed curses, trudging over and flicking on the light. "Can you please yell at me in the morning when I'm not buzzed and embarrassed?"</p><p>   Al smirks. "No I think this is fine. I'm quite enjoying watching you squirm". </p><p>   Ed flushes red. "Al don't say shit like that right now!"</p><p>   Now it's Al's turn to blush and wave his arms in protest. "That's not what I meant you jerk! I just meant- damnit! Now I'm the one flustered". </p><p>   Roy sighs from the floor, grunting as he pushes himself up to a stand and runs his hand through his hair. </p><p>   "Alphonse I'm sorry you had to witness that". Roy says sincerely. </p><p>   Ed, on the other hand, growls. "The fuck are you apologizing for?!"</p><p>   Roy bugs his eyes out. "We almost just fucked on your brothers bedroom floor- with him still in the room!" </p><p>   He throws his hands up. "He could've said something!"</p><p>   "We scarred the poor kid, Ed! No wonder he froze!"</p><p>   "Ew don't call my brother a kid he's only a year younger than me you pedophile!"</p><p>   "That's not what I meant, I just- ugh, fuck! I'm not a pedophile!"</p><p>   "Oh really? But if I remember correctly I was only barely legal when we-"</p><p>   "Remember your place, FullMetal. I'm still your superior officer". </p><p>   "Oh pulling out rank now are you, General? Feeling a bit cornered because you know I'm right?"</p><p>   "Oh bite me Ed". </p><p>   "No I'll pass- but only cos I know you'd like it too much". </p><p>   "Okay enough!" </p><p>   Both Roy and Ed jump at Al's loud and harsh voice, heads whipping to stare at the brother. They both hadn't realized they moved closer to each other, the familiar banter and power play distracting them somehow from their current situation. </p><p>   He blames the alcohol and his stupidly horny brain.</p><p>   Al is standing now, putting on his slippers before storming towards them with a rare look of anger on his kind face. </p><p>   "I've heard enough! We'll discuss this in the morning. For now; General, go home. Edward, go the fuck to sleep!" Al shoves both of them towards the door, making them stumble and nearly fall again. "And get out of my room!"</p><p>   The door slams shut, leaving both of them standing half dressed and humiliated in the hallway. He glances over and meets Roy's eyes and, despite how embarrassed they both are, they both break out in hysterical laughter.</p><p>   He makes a mental note to self to always remember to call his house and double check Al isn't there before bringing Roy home to ruin him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is honestly something I just found in my notes from like four years ago and I thought it was stupid enough to share. Also sorry if the smut sucks, it's kind of hard writing sex scenes when you're asexual lmao</p></blockquote></div></div>
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